Happy Beginnings

Happy Holidays!!

I first began writing this blog with an intention of sharing some insight into my journey of personal healing. We are all healing on some capacity. Many of us have scars so deeply rooted that we may not even be aware of how traumatized our mind / body / soul may be. That trauma may show through the way we react or respond to certain situations or experiences in life, and by taking the time at the end of the day to honestly reflect with ourselves, we are guided into a deeper understanding of our life experiences. This deeper understanding naturally allows us to be more compassionate, understanding, and empathetic with others. That is, way less stressed out!

For those of you who were reading this blog before, you may have noticed that I took it down after a few days. I decided to re-start my blog as I now have a clearer intention which allows me to be confident in moving forward. I was excited, yet terrified to share my new insights on my new journey in life. I do my best to come across as confident, though my confidence often feels like a teeter-totter. I was terrified that my life may not be a path that is expected by others, that my joys and fulfillments may not be the same as others, or that my new perspective on life would cause me to be hurt by opposing views. I’ve learned that these are the exact reasons why I need to express myself. I am an artist and although I speak my truth through song, I decided that I would like to communicate with you directly about my journey. Who I truly am at the core.

This journey is the result of a spiritual awakening process I am currently going through. To be honest, I was never really a spiritual person and also associated spirituality with religion. Actually, I would say I was pretty close to being an Atheist. I am not religious, but I am now 100% engaged into this incredibly beautiful journey of spiritual awakening. Years ago, I used to judge those who identified as spiritual people as I didn’t really take the time to understand what it meant to be spiritual. My life got to the point where it was more and more difficult to live up society’s expectations. I was sinking into a deeper depression, extremely insecure in myself, and had a ridiculous amount of anxiety. I was swimming in self sabotage; however, it was easy to cookie-cut my life into a perfect picture online to hide all of this. So easy. With my life looking perfect on the outside, I was neglecting to properly heal how I truly felt on the inside as an individual. I was subconsciously hurting and lying to myself. I’m sure many of you can relate to this.

I was running away from humility which can be such a healing friend once we become comfortable with their presence. Humility is essential for spiritual growth: not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less, C.S. Lewis.

I’m sure we all have a list of past experiences that we are not proud of, or maybe wish never even happened. We constantly remind ourselves of how much pain our past has cost us and allow those experiences to control us. We dwell in them. Luckily, we do have a choice to flip all those experiences and look at them from a different perspective: strength and growth. Choosing to shift your perspective will demonstrate great strength and allow you to let go of the pain that those circumstances held within you.

Perspective is everything. None of us are perfect (that’s ridiculous) but we are all strong.

That being said, I also decided that I am no longer going to use social media for personal reasons at this time. I do love social media, believe it can provide society with lots of positive insight, and will come to being more active on it again at some point in the future; however, through this period of personal growth, it is a decision that has been helping me to understand myself and life more. I am no longer focusing on what other lives have that I don’t by, well, focusing on what I do have. A list of some things that have arisen from being off social media / my spiritual growth:

  1. I am more connected to nature and animals

  2. I am healthy

  3. I am more creative than ever, and can easily write a song in minutes

  4. I am happy. Every day I wake up feeling grateful, and go to bed feeling grateful.

  5. I am mindful. I used to find meditation to be a pain in the ass, and over the last two months have grown to love meditating and mindfulness

  6. I am able to sleep well

  7. I am organized and tidy

  8. I am always learning and growing

  9. I am confident. My confidence has escalated around 80%-90% due to true self-love and acceptance

  10. I am completely honest with myself and others

  11. I am grateful for everyone in my life: past, present, and future. As a favourite teacher of mine, Matt Kahn, has said… in life, there are those who support us and those who we learn from.

Lastly, I have learned that no matter what anyone thinks of another, those thoughts are simply one’s opinions formulated through their conditioning. It is your choice on whether or not you choose to believe the thoughts and opinions that are out there, though all that matters is how you see yourself. Your truth. You have the power to sculpt who you want to be. Only you. Remember that. The rest is just noise and if you don’t like it, stop paying attention to it or that will become your reality!

I would like to use this blog as a way of offering a window into my life for those who are interested in participating in their own personal growth. I will not cookie-cut the picture, but rather share the beauty I find in life’s lessons. To do this it is essential to let go of blaming others, as we will not grow through projecting blame.

Letting go can seem terrifying, but I assure you that having the strength to do so will grow more and more rewarding for you each day. Challenge yourself. I have begun composing my first full length album on self empowerment & healing (to be released in 2020), and will happily be sharing the day by day process with those interested. I will also share videos, blogs, or articles by teachers who I have found to help me along this journey.

Love and light sweet humans,
Jenni
xo

Work clothes

Work clothes

A walk at sunset on the boardwalk at Victoria Park with my mom.

A walk at sunset on the boardwalk at Victoria Park with my mom.

My genius idea of taping the notes to the keys- helps me compose faster as I’m a somewhat music illiterate.

My genius idea of taping the notes to the keys- helps me compose faster as I’m a somewhat music illiterate.